I will tell you about my story about being a
parent in a non-critical way of thinking.
I was 20 years old when I had my first son. I was fresh out of high school and the mother
of my child was my high school sweetheart. She was 18 years old and what I soon realized
was that I was too young to raise a child.
I came from a family where I was
the youngest of three boys. My oldest brother is four years older than I am,
and my middle brother is three years older. I remember the first thought I felt
when I found out that my girlfriend was pregnant. I was excited at the thought
of having a child but then a sudden rush of terror overcame me. I remember
going to my oldest brother since he had already had his first child and asking “What
does it take to raise a child?” My brother just looked at me and said “You just
have to figure it out.” I had no idea what he meant at that time so my fear was
still there. I remember going to my parents and telling them this exciting news
that they were going to be grandparents. I never thought the words I heard
would strike so deeply into my heart. My father just looked at me and said “You
really screwed up this time. I could not imagine the negative reaction I received
that day. That was it I had no one to lean on during this time.
We had our son on August 19, 1995
and remember the day that he was born just like it was yesterday. That day I felt
changed something in me and at the time I wasn’t quite sure what it was. I felt
that I could accomplish anything if I just put my mind to it. After a few days
in the hospital I remember thinking “How do I even change his diaper?” That was
a question that was soon to be answered. I returned home with my little guy all
wrapped up in a blanket all cuddled up and not a care in the world. Then the
truth finally smacked me in the face or rather the nose. The little man had a
dirty diaper and I had no idea how to change him. Well I grabbed the bull by
the horns well maybe his feet and I gave it a shot. It only took me 15 or so
minutes to change that first diaper that day.
After that I realized that something had to be done if I was going to be
a decent father. I set my standards low at that point and only achieved for the
decent status.
Three years had passed since the
birth of my first son when my second son was born. I remember being a little
more confident in my parenting skills so I knew how to take care of a baby. I had
practice since the birth of my first son so the second wasn’t bad at all.
On July 7th, 2009 came
my third son Ian. By this time it had been quite some years, and now I was 35
years old. When I found out my wife was pregnant I remember the excitement I felt
at the news of the new addition to our family. I had no thought of fear or
anxiety that I felt with the birth of my oldest son. I remember when my
youngest son was born I was shocked to learn that he had a life threatening
condition and without surgery he would die. I then sunk back into the thought
of my oldest son “What am I going to do?” I no longer felt confident and sure
of myself. Thankfully with the skill of his heart surgeon our son is here today
with us.
I would say that everybody can experience
a situation where you learn from it. You learn how to grow and become a more
loving a devoted father. A father that doesn’t take for granted the simple
pleasures of having a child. There should be no type of father that assumes
that there is a manual on how to be a father. I can say with certainty I have
looked and never found it. You learn from your past experiences and it makes
you grow into a better person.
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